Update on the Amazing Jen

Hi Angels,

We had a wonderful family breakfast yesterday - all the Kovacs, Stanton, Killingers, and I wanted to share with you how well Jen is managing her care, and getting on with the day to day job of managing a family etc

We bumped into a work colleague of Jen's and she commented on how great Jen looks and how fabulous it was to see her. It dawned on me, that for those of you who haven't seen Jen since she began treatment, (but have been supporting so fantastically from afar) it must be hard for you to visualise her in the current situation.

I am very lucky to be able to check in with her daily and see her all the time, so while I see the ups and downs, I take great comfort in being able to see and hear how she is really feeling.

So for those of you who miss Jen - whether it be socially or at work - I can tell you - she looks great. Her skin is shiny, her eyes are bright, her laugh is loud - and ok - she's lost her hair - but otherwise, when she is out and about and feeling good - she looks great.

When I think about why this is, I think Jen says it best - "I haven't got cancer - I HAD cancer, and now I am having treatment to make sure it doesn't come back".

Jen is desperate to be back amongst you - she'd love to be at work, and out socialising with you all. She'd love to have the energy to care for the girls, and Will, without additional help. All in good time, as I keep telling her.

In the meantime she is doing an amazing job of managing her treatment, resting, and where possible, looking after the girls, being a great wife to the continually amazing Will, and putting the finishing touches of their beautiful home.

And the good news is, she is starting to think about her 'post chemo' plans. That in itself is great progress.

You know Jen - she's got an amazing outlook on life - and this little hiccup is only making her stronger.

For those of you tracking the treatment  - there are 6 chemo treatments remaining, followed by 6 weeks of radiotherapy.

Keep up the prayers and well wishes  - she isn't out of the woods yet - but she's on her way back!

Love to all

Cathy

Postcards from "The Road"

Hi Everyone,

Happy New Year. Obviously we are aiming for health and vitality this year.

The support you are showing for Jen is wonderful. I have had a much better insight into this while she, Will and the girls have been staying with us. Her phone is constantly beeping with messages from you all, and even if she doesn't respond - trust me she is listening - it is helping her find the energy to fight the good fight.

I think I speak for Jen and all the immediate support crew when I say we have moved from the 'alarmed' stage to the 'alert' stage. Time is an amazing healer, and as Jen moves onto phase 2 of the chemo treatment - she has settled into the chemo routine  - and can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Jen started her second cocktail of chemicals 3 weeks ago. This cycle will last 12 weeks. She has Taxol  weekly - with general tiredness and headaches as a side effect, then she has Carbo Platinum every 3 weeks - which brings with it nausea. Despite all her efforts  to keep a normal routine, for one week out of three the nausea is delibitating.

So during the good weeks (about half the time) Jen is in good health - eating well, spurts of energy, mental focus. She needs to have a morning and afternoon nap, but otherwise soldiers on.

I always admired Jen for her positive attitude and can do approach to life, but now I watch in awe as she and Will tackle finishing off their renovation, caring for two demanding little ones, and managing Jen's health. It is amazing how life goes on, and everyone gets on with things.

Jen and Will are very excited to be moving back to Lilyfield this weekend. The house is looking amazing. The huge effort of Maryanne, Bob the Builder, Will the labourer/painter and Jen the interior designer have payed of beautifully.

Special thanks to the chemo fairies - the crew who have been taking Jen to hospital each Tuesday. Depending on the week, this can be a few hours or half a day. It's when you get the reality check of what Jen is really dealing with, but also get the confidence boost, that all will be well in the end.

Many of you have asked 'what's next' and 'when we will know if the chemo is having the desired effect'? After this round of chemo (end March) Jenwill have radio therapy daily for 6 weeks The first real test will be her scan in September. It's tough not to be able to get an earlier read on things, however I think this is the thing with cancer and those who have had it - you get your annual scan and over time, you think and worry about it less and less - that's called recovery!

So Angels, thanks once again for all your love and prayers. At this stage everything is going well.

Love

Cathy

A MESSAGE FROM JEN

Hello everyone

Just wanted to say a quick hi. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while but haven’t found the energy… but now, as the new year takes off, I’ve passed one milestone of my chemo – and have come out the other side (yay!) - and before I head in for more treatment (boo!), it seems like the right time.

There is so much I want to say – most importantly I want to really thank everyone for the emails, texts, phone messages, facebook messages, blog messages*, gifts, cards, food, music, thoughts and prayers. Please know that I am receiving everything that is sent to me - even though I might not respond. I am so grateful to everyone for keeping in touch. It means a lot to me as I am necessarily cutoff from many of the people I’m used to seeing so much of. And to those who have been in touch from afar and also from the past – it is very special to be hearing from you all.

I am so grateful to my sister Cathy for keeping everyone up to date with my progress through her emails and the blog. She really has taken away the need for me to be sending updates, which is a huge load off. Everything I’d want to be saying she seems to capture so aptly. Sitting at the computer, emailing and texting is hard for me when I’m unwell. I really can’t speak on the phone which means communication at these times is limited. But when I come out from the haze and see messages from everyone it’s lovely. So please continue to keep in touch!

I had my last treatment for the year on 20 Dec and finally came up for air around 30 December – so Christmas and New Years were pretty quiet for us but I personally enjoyed it through Heidi’s eyes. She was very excited about Santa for the first time – we left out some food for him and the reindeers - and of course opening presents on Christmas morning was very exciting. 

Getting through the last treatment and side effects was significant as it was the last round of the AC, which is this concoction that has knocked me about a lot. It seems to affect everyone differently but for me I’m out of action for around 10 days. Cath has described what goes on for me – needless to say, it is so great to have finished this drug. The doc gave me an extra week off before I start up treatment again (tomorrow already…) which has been so nice.  

The next round of drugs (Taxol with carbo platin) will be weekly for 12 weeks but the doctor seems to think the side effects won’t be as tough. He cautioned by saying that “it’s still chemo” – but I’m really hoping I might handle the next round better. While I’m talking about the doctor, Professor Michael Friedlander, he is a wonderful doctor in whom I have a lot of faith. As Cath has mentioned, he is the breast cancer specialist at the Prince of Wales Hospital in Randwick who also looked after my mum nearly 20 years ago (and she as everyone knows is amazing and completely recovered of her illness which seems like a distant memory for all of us, even her). He is also a renowned expert in terms of his knowledge of the BRCA1 genetic mutation, which is what I now know that I have. This is a gene which has been passed down through the family and which has basically made me more susceptible to getting cancer than the average woman. At some time in the future, after I get through the chemo, I’ll write more about what this means but at the moment the doc says the most important thing is to treat the current problem, which is the cancer found in my left breast. Prof Friedlander is throwing everything at it - as he says - first chance is the best chance we have to get rid of it completely. And I have great faith in him and what he is doing. (I have to correct something from an earlier update and that is that we are using a “new” drug. The carboplatin is not a new drug and has been used on ovarian cancer (and likely other cancers) for some time. But the use in BRCA1 breast cancer is not something widely trialed and large sample data is not available. That notwithstanding, he advises the success in small samples in particular for BRCA1 has been very good – hence Prof Friedlander choosing to use this on me.)

The girls – Heidi (3 in Feb) and Amber (15 months) are mostly as happy as Larry. Amber is of course too young to understand anything, but Heidi knows that mum’s been a bit sick. Her indication of my wellness is whether or not I can carry her. When I came out of hospital after the lumpectomy I couldn’t carry either of them, which was a bit distressing especially for Heidi. She kept asking when I would be better so that I could carry her “big much” as opposed to just a little bit. Anyway, I can carry her big much now although of course at nearly 3 she walks most of the time…she just likes to know I can carry her if she needs me too! She also asks if my booby is better yet, so in small ways she knows a few things aren’t quite right. The girls find it hard to understand why they have to leave me to rest at times. It’s hard for me too hearing them outside the door sometimes banging and crying to come in. But at these times I feel so off it is less painful to hear them than to get up and be with them. I know this will pass, and I tell myself that I’m doing this for them, in addition to Will and of course for me.  And that it is ok.

We have had wonderful help from friends and family, in particular during the period after I came out of hospital, and then when I started my treatment and before we had formal home help. Will and I are really grateful to those who were able to be around for us then and who continue to be on call.  More recently, we’ve been eligible to get assistance in the way of a nanny (Chelsea) in the home due to the young age of the girls and my illness. This is working out well and the girls have warmed to Chelsea, which is the most important thing. We are hoping she will be able to stay with us for the duration of my treatment. But thanks also to friends who continue to make themselves available for us during the times when Chelsea is not around. We are very grateful.

Our house in Lilyfield- so near but yet so far. Having moved out in 2^nd week in August we’d aimed to back in by Christmas. It was always a bit ambitious, but amazingly we had very little rain when we needed the skies to be clear (someone looking down on us?) and we had a lot of good tradesmen and not too many mistakes along the way, so things tracked pretty well. We are really nearly there and were it not for the Christmas break we’d just have needed a few more weeks, but with the slowdown over Christmas (and our own slowdown..) it’s going to take a little while longer. But it’s looking great and we can’t wait to get back there. We currently estimate around Australia Day for the move home. My mum as project manager has been doing the most amazing job managing the tradies. She has been there onsite from 7am every morning cracking the whip. She has a wonderful eye for the detail and god help the tradies if they put a foot out of place. They can’t say no to her – good luck to anyone finding a 70-year old woman with as much energy to do what she is doing for us. And with such enthusiasm! We are really grateful to mum and things just would have fallen apart without her given our issues over the past few months. And thanks to dad who does endless running around for mum including bringing lunch to the building site every day. Dad also does more babysitting that any grandfather I know!

I must also say a big thank you to everyone who helped us with the move from the unit to Cath and Rob’s place  - couldn’t have done it without you guys. And of course thanks to Cath and Rob for having us stay at the moment. We're having fun!

There are so many people to thank for so many things. I can’t name everyone but please know that Will, the girls and I are really really grateful for everything. It is very humbling to be the recipient of the help and we look forward to being able to reciprocate as opportunities arise.

I do have to say special thanks to Monique who has taken so much time out of her life to be with us. She has stayed with us every Wednesday night since I came out of hospital – to, in particular, give Will a break overnight. She has also stayed with us during all of Will’s work trips and there have been a few. When she is with us, it is like there is an angel in the house. Things are left clean, washing done and of course, most importantly, we have two very happy little girls who love their Aunty Mon as much as anything. And their mummy is happy too.

As for Will, let’s just say he is keeping things “real”. He’s not wrapping me up in cotton wool, he’s not painting a rosy picture of the situation – as things have obviously been tough for all of us and he carries more than his share of the burden. But everyone who knows Will will know that that is him. 

Amid starting his new job he has had to step up his father duties and keep things moving at the house (he & Toby moved one tonne of pebbles last weekend! Thanks Toby!). At the same time he is providing great support to me, endlessly trying to pull me out of the chemo haze and back to good health so I can be with the family as much as possible. And words can’t describe what a wonderful dad he is - with the girls he is just the best. When he comes home at night, the look of excitement on their faces is priceless. There is no doubt our girls know they have a fantastic dad and I would not like to be going through this without him by my side.  

Dear friends and family, I’ll end this message now by sending you all the absolute BEST wishes for the new year. May 2012 hold many special things for everyone, in particular an abundance of happiness, good fun and most importantly excellent health.

I look forward to seeing everyone soon.

Much love to all

Jen xxxxxx

* re the blog, sorry this has been hard for many to use, I understand you need to log in to either gmail or yahoo/create a login if a first time user BEFORE you to try to leave a message…this might help? But feel free resort to other modes of communication if this is all too hard

Jen Update (from 14 Dec)

Hi Angels

By now I am sure you are all  right in the thick of Christmas shopping, and counting down the days till Santa's visit.

The Killingers are too - especially Heidi and Amber, who have been such good girls this year that they are guaranteed to get a pressie or two from Santa.

Jen's had a tough time again, dealing with the side effects of the 3rd round of chemo. Thankfully the last round of this drug is next week, after which she will get a much needed 3 week break before the next cycle.

For those of you keeping track of dates, from 10th Jan she expects to start weekly cycles for 12 weeks - through to 27 March.

Jen, Will and the girls are moving to 7 Wallaroy Rd Woollahra this weekend, were they will stay until their beautiful new home is ready for them. We are excited about having them come and stay with us, and they are looking forward to moving too.

Rob, I and the kids are heading away today for 3 weeks, so I will be back in touch in January.

All the Killingers, Kovacs and Stantons hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a happy and HEALTHY 2012.

Love

Cathy

Checking In

Hello Angels,

Well it has been quite a couple of weeks...... Jen had her second dose of chemo on 22nd November - the same day as her Mum turned 70 - and her new niece - Ruby Kovacs - arrived in this world - fourth child of Andy and Kirsty. As ever, Jen really doesn't have time for all this treatment! 

There was great hope that she wouldn't feel as horrible as she did post first round, but unfortunately despite trying anti-nausea bracelets, changing medication and accupuncture, by day 2 the side effects were ever present and she was in no mood for anything other than sleeping.

Before Will embarked on his new job with UPM, Jen, Will, the girls and Will's parents had a change of scenery and headed to Magenta Shores, courtesy of Bev and Phil Stanton, for a few days in the sun. It was lovely for Jen and Will to have Linda and Bill there to share the childcare/Jen care. Thanks Linda and Bill!

 

Then they migrated back to Sydney, where Jen managed to squeeze in a special birthday, and Will started his new job.

I saw Jen today and she was back to her old self  - feeling and looking wonderful, and the life of the McFarlane Christmas Party at Watson's Bay.

Thanks to Mon, Bec, Treen and Leanne who were a great help this week.

Also welcome to Chelsea - Heidi and Amber's new nanny - who has been a godsend for Jen and Maryanne (the old nanny) this last few weeks. This of course means Maryanne now has no excuse not to be spending 100% of her time finishing Jen and Will's reno...and Steve can get back to golf!

For those of you checking off the chemo rounds - Round 3 is on Tuesday 6th and Round 4 Tuesday 20th Dec.

Remember, Jen doesn't like using the phone in the post chemo haze - but she would love to get any message you choose to leave - text or email.

Jen and Will will be holidaying in Woollahra from 17 December until reno completed. Looks like Christmas will be a quiet affair, but if my calcs are right - Jen will be feeling in a partying mood for NYE (Pip and Katy - maybe you could resurrect the crowns).

All the best to you all, as you prepare for Christmas. Apparently it is a time for 'patience'. So hold that thought as you fight for the last Barbie Dreamhouse (or equivalent) in the shops the next few weeks.

Love

Cathy

Shhhhh

in a wisper.....hi angels, don't forget it's Jen's birthday tomorrow and it's a BIG one!

Hi Angels,

Jen has just come out of her first 'chemo haze'. It took a little longer than expected to recover from the first round - about 10 days - but I can report that for now she feels great! During her recovery she doesn't much feel like doing anything, and particularly not keen to talk on the phone, so please keep that in mind.
Jen says the  after affects are a cross between morning sickness and a bad hangover. That should allow all of you some sense of the feeling.

Jen and Will just spend a wonderful weekend at Will's best mate's wedding which was held at Mollymook. Aside from the wedding, there was visits to the beach, whale spotting and hot tubbing - surely all good therapy!

For those of you tracking the treatment dates, the next round of chemo is due on 22nd November, then every 2 weeks for the next few rounds.

A special thanks to those of you who have been able to help Jen with kids play datses, meals &  even freezer storage, amongst other tangibles. And to those of you who live far away and are equally as helpful with stories of hope, and love and prayers.

Until the next instalment.....

Cathy